This Week's Press Release

I was trying to avoid Jury Duty today ( so far so good!) and whilst there I thought, damn, I've neglected my occasional press release roasting. I come home and a perfect candidate was waiting for me. I got a good chuckle, because after the Hi Alice, the publicist signed off. "Please enjoy!" So how could I resist? ##### SONOMA COUNTY, California (April 20, 2009) – C****** Wines, the ultra-premium Bordeaux winegrowing estate situated 2,450 feet above Sonoma County's Alexander Valley on Pine Mountain, is pleased to announce the release of its inaugural wine, (INAUGURAL? ) the 2008 C****** Tradition Sauvignon Blanc. C******'s small-production wines are hand-crafted (I HATE THAT WORD WHEN IT COMES TO WINE) by the wife and husband winemaking team of May-Britt and Denis Malbec, formerly of Chateau Latour in Bordeaux, who are dedicated to creating the finest Bordeaux-style artisan wines from California grapes, (WAIT, BORDEAUX-STYLE---MEANING WHAT? ARTISAN? MEANING WHAT? FROM CALIFORNIA GRAPES? HOW DO THEY DO THAT? ) using the highest standards of sustainable winegrowing. (I SEE, SUSTAINABLE, JUST LIKE BORDEAUX. I get it.) 'The Sauvignon Blanc is our first release and very much encapsulates what an amazing journey this has been,' said C****** President Benjamin Sharp. 'Our team wholeheartedly believes in May-Britt and Denis' winemaking philosophy that you only get as much as you give and our 2008 Sauvignon Blanc's balanced profile and elegant finish exemplify what we're trying to accomplish with C******. We're extremely proud of this wine.' (I'M SURE YOU ARE) The 2008 Sauvignon Blanc is sourced from two distinct northern California terroirs, the volcanic clay soils of Kick Ranch in the foothills of Bennett Valley and the rocky 1,400-foot elevation slopes of Windrem Ranch in Kelseyville. (CLAY FOR SAUVIGNON? SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE)) C****** has produced 550 cases of the 2008 Tradition(OH YEAH, AND PLEASE TELL ME WHY IT'S TRADITION? DO I HEAR ZERO MOSTEL IN THE BACKGROUND? IS THIS A KOSHER WINE OR ARE THEY STARTING A TRADITION? WHO'S TRADITION?) Sauvignon Blanc. The suggested retail price is $32. (AND WHERE IN THIS RELEASE DOES IT TELL ME AS WINES & VINES DIDTHAT THE SAUVIGNON WAS FROM PURCHASED FRUIT?) Winemakers May-Britt and Denis Malbec describe the 2008 C****** Tradition Sauvignon Blanc as having a 'core of pink grapefruit, gooseberry and pear, accented by appealing minerality, and supported by crisp acidity.' (SUPPORTED BY HOW MUCH ADDED TARTARIC?) They note that the rich, full mouth feel carries distinctive creaminess over the lengthy finish, showcasing the sur lie ageing in a stainless steel tank. (WILL PEOPLE STOP WITH THIS SUR LIE CREAMINESS? I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CRISP?) They recommend that the wine be served chilled so that one can enjoy the shifting complexity as it slowly warms in the glass. The Sauvignon Blanc grapes were meticulously hand-sorted at a rate of one ton per hour to ensure that only the finest fruit at peak ripeness was selected. (HOW MANY PEOPLE ON THAT SORTING TABLE?) The grapes were then placed in a cold soak for 48 hours and fermented in stainless steel to emphasize the brilliant fruit character and to maintain optimum acidity. (MAINTAIN THE ACIDITY? LAST TIME I LOOKED, ACIDITY WASN'T SOMETHING YOU LOSE UNLESS YOU PICK TOO RIPE AND GROW TOO HOT) C******'s artisan red wines are sourced from Tin Cross Vineyards, C******'s organically farmed estate on Pine Mountain. (I'M CONFUSED. PINE MOUNTAIN IS ORGANIC AND THEIR OTHER VINEYARD IS CHEMICAL? THANKS FOR THE COMMITTMENT. OH I SEE. THE OTHER WAS PURCHASED GRAPES. THEIR OWN GRAPES ARE ORGANIC? PERHAPS.) C****** is pioneering the introduction of the Pine Mountain terroir, which was virtually unknown to wine enthusiasts merely 10 years ago, (UNKNOWN ONLY TO ENTHUSIASTS? THEN WHO WAS IT KNOWN BY?) by offering the mountain’s first professional winemaking team and one of the mountain’s first estate wines (I'M SORRY, THIS ONE DOESN'T TRACK. SO THE OTHER PEOPLE MAKING WINE THERE PREVIOUSLY WERE BOZOS?). Inspired by the historical legacy of Pine Mountain (WHICH IS?) and its principles of land stewardship, Capture marries tradition and discovery, adapting classic Bordeaux winegrowing methods (FROM WHAT ERA? BECAUSE FOR A FEW DECADES STERILE LAND AND STERILITY IN WINEMAKING HAS BEEN THE CLASSIC) and customs to the rich history and frontier spirit of those who first farmed the land(WHICH LAND, PINE OR BORDEAUX?)more than a century ago. C****** will release a Bordeaux-style Rosé in the fall of 2009 (QUICK!! HOW MANY MEDOC AND RIGHT BANK ROSES CAN YOU NAME?) and celebrate the inaugural release of its two ultra-premium (ULTRA-PREMIUM, I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS IN VODKA---FILTERED TEN TIMES THROUGH THE TEARS OF VIRGINS WEARING DIAMONDS) Bordeaux-style reds in the fall of 2010, all sourced from C*****'s* Tin Cross Vineyards estate on Pine Mountain, 2,450 feet above the valley floor. Tin Cross Vineyards has a climate pattern and soil composition similar to that of the Oakville AVA (AND THAT WOULD BE?) and was planted to vineyard in the mid 1850s, making it one of the oldest vineyard properties in Sonoma County. (THEN WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW OF IT?) C****** plans to produce fewer than 1,000 cases of wine annually. ( I COULD SAY SOMETHING HERE) C****** brings together a world-class team of winery professionals.(YES, YOU"VE TOLD US) In addition to winemakers May-Britt and Denis Malbec, the group includes proprietors Michael and Carol Foster; Benjamin Sharp, president, formerly with Kendall-Jackson Wine Estate; (NOW I UNDERSTAND, K-J) Tara Sharp, vice president of marketing, previously with Vérité and Lokoya; and celebrated vineyard managers Glenn Alexander and Dave Komar. To join the mailing list or for additional information about C****** Wines, please visit the Web site at www.capturewines.com. About Tin Cross Vineyards Tin Cross Vineyards is an ultra-premium winegrowing estate rising 2,450 feet above the Alexander Valley on Pine Mountain in Sonoma County, California. The 240-acre estate is studded with oak trees and natural water springs (PERFECT FOR IRRIGATION! LUCKY!) and is home to many wild animals, including deer, bobcats, turkeys and wild boar. (OH SHIT! THEY BETTER GET SOME GUNS!) Tin Cross was planted to vineyard in the mid 1850s, making it one of the oldest vineyard properties in Sonoma County. (WELL THAT IS EXCITING. WHO OWNED IT BEFORE? ANY OLD VINES LEFT OR DID YOU REPLANT TO CLONES) At an elevation of more than 2,450 feet, the mountain-top vineyard is also one of the highest in California. (IT MUST BE SPECTACULAR) In the past 150 years, the vineyard has grown to 40 acres and is now planted primarily to Bordeaux noble varietals, including Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Petit Verdot. Tin Cross Vineyards is dedicated to growing ultra-premium (STOP WITH THE BOOZE ANALOGY!) wine grapes and employs organic farming practices. (WAIT A MINUTE. FIRST IT WAS ORGANIC AND NOW IT EMPLOYS ORGANIC? RED HERRING ALERT) # # # # A word here. I don't mean to be mean to the person who wrote this. And that's why I left the firm and the contact off. She wrote a perfect press release meant to spin some romance. Most people reading it would take it at face value. And I don't mean to be mean about PR, I love a good marketing effort and I love adveristing art and cleverness. What I don't like is spin, or rather fabrication. Yes, fabrication, genuine misleading, even though here, i can see the task was to create a silk purse out of a sow's ear and lemonade from lemons. Here: I made cauliflower for a friend the other week because I make a mean cauliflower. In fact, I'm pretty handy with all brassaicas. Over dinner I told her I was writing a story for the Wall Street Journal on tea and how much fun it was. Nancy is a publicist and she's a wild and crazy girl with a heart of gold and just wants to help me, "That's terrific," she said. "We're going to make you an internationally renowned expert on tea!" I looked at her like she was a funny looking oyster. "Nance," I said, "It's one story! I'm not an expert! I did an interview and created a story. I sniffed some tea. I wrote some notes." And then she laughed as she said, "Can you blame a girl for trying?"